Deer Bring Pain

There has been some disturbing news coming out of Minnesota. First, I'd like clarify my position: I'm against trophy hunting, but I think there is a positive side to hunting. Especially after reading this article. My wife and I tried to imagine how some of the 911 calls must have sounded.

911 operator: 911. What's your emergency?
woman: Oh, deer! I think my husband needs help.
911 operator: Where's your husband, ma'am?
woman: He's in our daughter's bedroom and --- oh my god! --- he's trying to kill him!
911 operator: Ma'am? Please remain calm. This man he's trying to kill? Do you know him?
woman: He's a deer.
911 operator: You're friends with this man? The man your husband is trying to kill?
woman: What? Oh...no! It's a real deer with hooves and antlers.
911 operator: What's your husband...
woman: He's going to kill it. I tried to give him his gun, his buck knife, but he wants to kill it with his bare hands!
911 operator: Ma'am, tell your husband to get out of the room. We have a patrol unit in the area and they're on route to your...
woman: Chester? Honey? She wants you to get out --- what? Oh. It's dead.
husband: WOLVERINES!
woman: Oh, terrific...now he's drinking it's blood.
husband: The chair is against the wall!
woman: Well, it looks like we don't need your help...do you like venison?