I'm settling in at my new job. Here are my observations in no particular order.
I work with a guy named Charles. You don't meet too many Charles these days. Charles likes to touch my monitor. I'm not sure how to approach this topic.
The building spells like body odor in some places.
I got my new cellphone. It's nice. I'm having fun with the VoiceDial feature. BTW, my old cellphone (you know, the one that went through the washing machine) is working again. Apparently it just needed a new battery.
There is a sofa here...ummm...nap time.
The soda is free. No cookies though.
The microwave is small and under-powered. I'll have to compensate for the longer cooking time by starting my lunch a few minutes early.
I'm using a Windows box. Ouch. Websphere Application Developer took 4 minutes to start up. Maybe that is what the sofa is for.
I haven't been called a twit. I'm liking that.
Hey Twit,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the new post!
No problem anonymous.
ReplyDeleteOdor problem? Try using some Old Spice.
ReplyDeleteIt's cheap and you can buy it at the grocery store.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't get better than that.
Twit,
ReplyDeleteI think you should challenge Charles to a leg wrestling match. If he loses he drops the "Charles".
OK. I lost the leg wrestling match. What do I do now? Charles what's answers. Hurry!
ReplyDeleteI can't read or write!
ReplyDeleteOh, I don't know. Maybe you could spray some denatured alcohol in his eyes.
ReplyDeleteAlways tryin' to bring up those bad childhood memories.
ReplyDeleteLet's talk about the time that you shit yourself. Huh? How about that!? Zinger!
Noooo. Wrong guy. The Deppen would never do that.
ReplyDeleteWelcome back to the Windows world. Remember, in Windows, the command is: format c: /y
ReplyDeleteThis isn't gay at all, this is fun!
ReplyDeleteI think you need to take an aggressive stance with Charles. He is probably trying to assert himself. Start by firmly stepping on his big toe when he "touches" your monitor. If that doesn't work, tell he you love him.
ReplyDeleteI'm starting to think that the skills that I learned at paytec are not applicable in the real world. I stepped on his foot, just like you told me. With incredible speed and force, he gave me a front-side wedgie. Oklahoma!
ReplyDeleteEverytime Charles touches your monitor, say "Bad Chuck. Bad. "
ReplyDeleteWhenever he touches your monitor, touch his balls
ReplyDeleteJC, is there a column in the middle of your cube?
ReplyDeleteTom. STFU.
ReplyDeleteStop spooning Charles for a couple of minutes and post "New Job: day 3".
ReplyDeleteWe could check in to getting you a license for visualage.
ReplyDeleteDear John Charles Mann,
ReplyDeleteIf you wish, I can follow Charles home and speak to him about the inappropriate touching.
This should help keep Charles away.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.hallucinaut.com/foilhats/patshat01.jpg
Is Charles for real or your imaginary friend?
ReplyDeleteCome on you guys...
ReplyDelete