We went to the Philadelphia Zoo this past Saturday. The gorillas weren't gettin' it on this time, but the Galapagos Tortoises were! I don't think that I've ever seen 500 pound tortoises gettin' puddin'. OK, I never seen any tortoises or turtles party before. I'd like to say that it was impressive, but there wasn't much going on in the movement department (...sounds like my wedding night!). It looked like some vandals pranked two statues...
funny, but not exciting. So, I checked out the hippos, the okapi, and the elephants. I looked back and he was
still inspecting her shell. I guess if you live for 150 years, what's the rush?
Anyway. The crowd was pretty excited to see this event. And that's when I overheard this gem:
"Daddy? What are they doing?"
"They're going to the bathroom. Come on, let's look at the hippos."
Good job jackass. Sex doesn't exist.
When we were looking at the ring-tailed lemurs, a woman walked up and asked if they were raccoons. I must be a magnet for stupid.
In the how-the-fuck-do-you-wipe-your-ass department: We saw a woman with six-inch fingers nails. They looked just like they do in the Guinness Book of World Records, curled, brownish-yellow, and disgusting.
How do you explain this?
ReplyDeletehttp://www.azfamily.com/wallpaper/images/Zoo-Turtles-1024x768.jpg
When we were looking at the ring-tailed lemurs, I woman, walked up and asked if they were raccoons.
ReplyDeletechirp
ReplyDeletechirp
Did you hear the one about the snail that was mugged by a turtle? The cop asked the snail for a description of the turtle, and the snail said: I didn't see a thing. It all happened too fast.
ReplyDelete"Mommy" is about 70 years old and who knows how old "Mopey" is. No wonder they're fumbling around. If I were that old, I'd probably think I was a Volkswagen.
ReplyDeleteThe Galapagos tortoise's eyesight is extremely poor, so much so that the males will try to mate with almost anything resembling a female, even a large rock.
ReplyDeleteSo, it might not have been a female he was attempting to mount. Oklahoma!
ReplyDeleteI'm back.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, today, Sailer distracted me, and so I turned and walked straight into a wall, just like Maria M. once did with that conference room window.
Doesn't surprise you one bit does it.
See that, see how I teed that one up nicely for ya?
I miss Charlie stories.
ReplyDeleteThey were action packed!
all, don't forget to wink at frenchy whenever you seem him walking around, about to turn a corner.
ReplyDeletecrickets...all we are getting is crickets
ReplyDeleteSomeone get Sparrow some Ritalin.
ReplyDeleteHey, maybe Charles has a blog. I bet he updates his blog.
crickets? really?! That's funny because that's exactly what I got when I asked about the LAN party. BTW, Charlie has a blog.
ReplyDeleteI want a lan party!
ReplyDeleteI want a lan party!
I want a lan party!
I want a lan party!
I want a lan party!
I want a lan party!
I want a lan party!
I want a lan party!
Sparrowlegs, can you give us Charlie's contact info? We want to ask him in for a LAN party.
ReplyDelete"How to prove that all odd numbers are prime" check out the link. My favorite is from "Confused Undergraduate"
ReplyDeleteYou know, we play every night @ 5:00.
ReplyDeleteSomeone check Sparrowlegs pulse. I think he flatlined.
ReplyDeleteFlatliners:
ReplyDeletehttp://imdb.com/title/tt0099582/
Psalm 23:4 "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me."
ReplyDeleteanyone for a little blood licking fest?
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