My sister, who is pregnant with her second child, likes to follow her two year old daughter around with a box of Clorox wipes. She sanitizes anything that her daughter might touch. The slide, shopping cart, lawn chairs, etc. Must...filter...thoughts...
sister: We are looking for suggestions for baby names. We haven't found any names that we like.
sherry (joking): How about Eggbert?
sister (not joking): No, we don't like that. It's too close to Bert. He's that G-A-Y muppet on Seaseme Street. They finally took him off. Thank GOD! I guess they realized how inappropriate it was having him on a children's show.
No one said anything after that. I guess because there wasn't a ten foot pole in the room. But there was a pink elephant! I think Katie Holmes wants to set up a car pool to Crazytown, maybe I should tell my sister.
I am not G-A-Y.
ReplyDeleteI <3 sausage!
ReplyDeletetoday is my birth-D-A-Y
ReplyDeletei'm lonely
ReplyDeleteTHat's nothing a good yogurt enema won't cure!
ReplyDeleteIn early 1994, Rev. Joseph Chambers attempted to get the puppets banned under a little-used anti-gay law in the deep South. Referred to by the Daily Mirror as a "crackpot preacher from Charlotte, North Carolina," the preacher was said to have stormed on his radio show:
ReplyDeleteBert and Ernie are two grown men sharing a house and a bedroom. They share clothes, eat and cook together and have blatantly effeminate characteristics.
happy birth-G-A-Y deppen.
ReplyDeleteI've never seen Bert wear Ernie's clothes or vice versa. Snuff is off his rocker.
ReplyDeleteEffeminate? Guess Snuff's definition of macho is dressing like the Village People.
Deppen, for your birthday I'll give you 2 free kills tomorrow night. You're welcome.
ReplyDeleteDid you want my sister's phone number Snuff? Maybe she'll let you shave her head.
ReplyDeleteHow's chaz?
ReplyDeleteHe's good. He just found out about this blog last night.
ReplyDeleteLast **night**? Was it during pillow talk?
ReplyDeleteWhat were you doing with Charles last night???? I knew you're seeing other men. You Bastard!
ReplyDeleteInteresting link.
ReplyDeleteWhat's your worth?
http://www.humanforsale.com/
What's it like being an only child?
ReplyDeletehttp://www.bbqu.net/gratedebate.html
ReplyDeleteDiscuss.
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=17565214125862764376
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of funny are you?
your humor style:
CLEAN | SPONTANEOUS | DARK
(66% dark, 50% spontaneous, 36% vulgar)
Your humor's mostly innocent and off-the-cuff, but somehow there's something slightly menacing about you. Part of your humor is making people a little uncomfortable, even if the things you say aren't themselves confrontational. You probably have a very dry delivery, or are seriously over-the-top.
Your type is the most likely to appreciate a good insult and/or broken bone and/or very very fat person dancing.
PEOPLE LIKE YOU: David Letterman - John Belushi
http://is2.okcupid.com/users/116/944/11694560292031626201/mt1121288826.gif
the Wit
ReplyDelete(61% dark, 30% spontaneous, 26% vulgar)
your humor style:
CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK
You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.
I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.
Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.
PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais
Is there something wrong with me?
ReplyDeletethe Idiot Savant
(47% dark, 65% spontaneous, 42% vulgar)
your humor style:
VULGAR | SPONTANEOUS | LIGHT
You like things silly, immediate, and, above all, outrageous. Ixne on the subtle word play, more testicles on fire, please. People like you are the most likely to RECEIVE internet forwards--and also the most likely to save them in a special folder entitled 'HOLY SHIT'.
Because it's so easily appreciated, and often wacky and physical, your sense of humor never ceases to amuse your friends. Most realize that there's a sly intelligence and a knowing wink to your tastes. Your sense of humor could be called 'anti-pretentious'--but paradoxically enough, that indicates you're smarter than most.
PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Johnny Knoxville - Jimmy Kimmel
you know, i thought i saw bert lurking in the background while ernie was taking a bath.
ReplyDeleteRubber duckie you're the one...
I know you don't care and won't miss me when I'm gone, but this will be my last post...
ReplyDeleteMadden 2006 is sitting in my mailbox, patiently waiting for me to come home tonight.
Godspeed and good luck to all of you in your future endeavors.
This is my blog entry for QuakeCon.
ReplyDeleteCharles and I drove to Texas this weekend. We would take turns driving. It was awkward, he kept touching my steering wheel while I drove.
Here at QuekeCon I've been getting pwned. I'm such a noob.