For whatever reason people have been using the sidewalk in front of our house as a dumping ground. About twice a month we have a major trash incident. I say major, because we have minor trash incidences everyday. Candy wrappers. Plastic cups. KFC napkins. No, these don't count as major.
Last month we were blessed twice by the Trash Fairies. On one occasion someone left 3 Domino's pizzas. The ants eating rotten meat and cheese were wonderful. And on another occasion someone left a large box of food products: one gallon of lemonade, two frozen pizzas, ten cans of ravioli, and several packets of Ramen noodles.
Two nights ago we had a 10PM spare tire dropped off. Thanks. That was just what we were looking for.
I need a solution to this problem. "Using mainly spoons, we'll tunnel our way out of the city...". I'm thinking of something that includes high-powered lasers and motion activated cameras. I just need to run a 3-phase 660v line to the front of the house.
Move to the suburbs.
ReplyDeleteget some yellow tape and some chalk. draw a body on the sidewalk. presto. crime scene. who'd litter on a crime scene?
ReplyDeleteNice! I like it. Do I still need a 3-phase 660V line?
ReplyDeleteYep - you still need it for that industrial-sized vibrating butt plug you ordered from "xxxxx".
ReplyDelete3 Domino's pizzas? A box full of food and drink? That's not your casual litter - that's an abduction! I bet those little gray skinned, bug eyed son's of bitches are picking people up right in front of your house! I can picture it: a guy walking down the street grinning like an idiot with his 75 piece KFC bucket in one hand and a Pepsi 2 liter in the other and then ZAP! he's gone and the food's on your sidewalk. If I were you, I'd double wrap everyone's head with the foil!
ReplyDeleteLiar! It was only 9 cans of ravioli.
ReplyDelete[...] Back in the day I wrote about the trash fairies visiting my sidewalk. [...]
ReplyDelete[...] does this keep happening to [...]
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