The BMW Testdrive

Both of my sons are into cars, so I offered each of them a trip to the dealership of their choice for a test drive. Of course, it had to be within reason — no Ferrari. I'm such a mean dad.

My youngest son is really into Chryslers (shudder). More specifically, he obsesses over PT Cruisers (shudder shudder). Therefore, we went to the Chrysler dealer to test drive a PT Cruiser (shudder shudder shudder). Yes, I really love him. The only blog-worthy detail was that the dealer had trouble finding one that would start. We waited half an hour before he found one that understood what to do when he turned the key in the ignition. This didn't change my sons taste in cars. God bless him. I conducted my testdrive on rural roads with the hope that no one would see me.

My oldest son is fan of BMWs, specially the M3. So, I did what any father would do; I selflessly put aside my wants and needs and took him to the BMW dealer for a test drive. He said he would be happy to ride in any 3 series, but would really like a ride in the M3. I promised I would do my best.

Kevin cheerfully greeted us at the doors of the BMW dealership. Within five minutes, we were seated in a '06 325. He drove first — "Just to give you feel for the vehicle." Whatever, Kev. I was impressed with the features, even though this was the cheapest car in their lineup. Pushbutton start. Cool. Key FOB ignition that charged every time it was in the ignition slot. Heated seats. Rain sensing wipers. Electronic stability control — he demonstrated how little the car pitched forward under hard braking. Run-flat tires, which meant that there wasn't a spare. No physical dip stick for the oil — employing an electronic sensor instead. BMW provides car pickup and delivery for servicing within 2 hours of the dealership.

He finally let me drive. The steering was precise. The power was OK. It handled wonderfully. It was so quiet that I had trouble gauging my speed. This caused me to over shoot a stop sign. Sorry Kev...you can unclench now.

We went back to home base and Kev went to fetch the M3. I said I was interested in the coupe version. Unfortunately they only had a '03. I guess that will do. My son nodded his approval. Kev pulled a beautiful jet black M3 around to where we stood. I don't care much for how a car looks, but Jesus (assuming)! Just after I caught my breath, I the heard the engine/exhaust. I was in love. Kev did the requisite preflight rundown. He gave me a sample of its acceleration and cornering abilities. He demonstrated an 85 MPH tire-squealer in a sweeping right-hander. Gulp.

My heart was pounding when it was my turn to drive. I was so nervous. I revved the engine to 5 or 6k RPM...just because. Kev gave a look. Shut up Kev. When I was ready, I pulled out and accelerated as fast I could. I was astonished and a little scared. I glanced back at my son and noted that he felt the same, with his head pressed back into the seat. I was glad I drove the 325 first — I knew the road this time. I couldn't stop grinning. I'd never driven a car this amazing. The traction control lets you have fun, you could break the tires loose if you wanted too. So I did. I got the back end to slide out under heavy acceleration in a tight 35 MPH turn. I've never done that on dry asphalt. God, I miss driving a rear wheel drive car. I've never felt so alive. Kev had white knuckles.

We pulled into the dealership and Kev tried to talk money. That didn't last long. I was soon driving home in my piece o' shit Honda Odyssey. I wanted one. Just $45k...OK, maybe not right now...