The Little League World Series

I went to the LLWS on Sunday. There were lots of MILFs and hotties (I guess they are LL groupies. Why do 12 year old baseball players ... oh nevermind).

A hotties or MILF (honestly, I couldn't tell) commented on my "somethimes I pee when I laugh" t-shirt:

hottie: I really like your shirt.
me (filter block #1): Really? I like your everything.
me (filter block #2): I like your shirt too. I can clearly see that you still have all twelve of your ribs.
me (filter block #3): Do you realize that chics like you normally just ignore me?
me (looking down at my shoes): thanks.

Close call.

The game was great. The whole experience was like being at a Senators game, except that the field and the players were smaller and the home team won.

In the outfield, there is a small hill that people like sit on. The majority of the people that sit out there bring plastic lawn chairs. The hill is too steep for the chairs to be usable, so they cut about 8 inches off of the rear legs.

What they don't show you on TV: There is hill behind the outfield hill that is about 3 times as big as the first hill, and much more steep. This hill is a playland for the kids "watching" the game. In the first inning, they were rolling down the hill. Shortly after that, the kids started using large pieces of cardboard as sleds. By the third inning they had worn a dirt/mud path. This path was "enhanced" with the bottled water and soda. These kids were achieving incredible speeds. The cardboard that they were using didn't last long, so they just slide "bareback". The scene reminded me of the second Woodstock. It sucks being old and responsible.

My Daugher's Friend: Gandhi

My daughter had a friend visit for the day. Things were going well until we ate lunch. Her friend refused to eat lunch because she is on a "hunger strike until she gets a drum". This 7 year old girl hasn't eaten for four days! Her older brother (not on a hunger strike) has confirmed her story. Wow. It must be a really nice drum.

How Jedi Are You?

Here is another personality test. Charlie wanted me to post this in my blog. I'm kind of tired of these tests, but I feel bad for Charlie. I don't think that he has very many friends. Charlie is proud to say that he is a Qui-Gon Jinn, and his "friend" (I just nod like I believe him) is a Yoda. I am a Little Anakin. I don't care...I'm a pilot, you know, and someday I'm going to fly away from this place.

A Defining Moment

I was searching for a Greasemonkey script that would linkafi all the words on a web page to point to their definitions on www.dictionary.com. I was thinking it would be great to use it directly on a dictionary site. It's annoying to me that dictionary.com doesn't offer this service already.Surprisingly, when I was searching I found something else that was interesting (lets ride bikes). This is like Google Suggest but for words and their definitions.

There are Firefox plugins that help with the whole definition thing. I guess these will do for now.

A Grande Drubbing

My therapist said that I would get over the trauma faster if I just wrote about what happened.

LAN-party 8.10.2005:

It was just Slappy and me at first. I was schooling him in the campgrounds tournament mode. grande came in to spectate about half way through the drubbing. Then it was grande turn. Same map same mode. Slappy got to watch as showed grande how to perfect the fade-away rocket frag. About half way though the match, grande started begging me to change the mode to FFA. I complied with his request. The FFA game ended something like this:

ominous quake voice: one frag left.
sparrowlegs: Who wants to be the winning frag!? grande? Slappy? Where are you guys?! Cowards. Ah! Thanks Slappy.

sparrowlegs: 30
grande: 17
Slappy: 10

New map (Dead of Winter) same mode:

ominous quake voice: one frag left.
sparrowlegs: Who wants to be the winning frag!? grande? Slappy? Where are you guys?! Cowards. Ah! Thanks Slap....
ominous quake voice: you are tied for the lead.
sparrowlegs: Huh!?!? WTF!? Who...(direct rocket shot out of nowhere!)

grande: OTFL

grande: 30
sparrowlegs: 29
Slappy: 10

ouch.

New map. Apparently grande knows The Dead of Winter too well.How about one of the Sokar maps. Not the one Ca1amity likes. The other one. Red armor room behind glass with three teleporters to he get out. Mega health up on the highest platform. You know the one.

grande: 30
Slappy: 21
sparrowlegs: 15
Hunter: 14

Fuck! New Map! How about the one that Slim Shady told me about. A small space map with lots of jump pads. Quad damage. Weird teleport madness near the RG. You know the one. If you don't just ask Skinny. I performed my usual tricks: running, strafe jumping. Unfortunately, there was nowhere to run or jump... And grande is snipping me from...oh I've fallen off the map again. Slappy got the quad...and I'm dead. I'll hop on over to the teleporter/RG/hell. And I've fallen off the map again. OK, I'll just power up here, hit jump pad to get the Mega Health...and grande had nudged me off the edge with the RG. Fuck!

grande: 19
Slappy: 14
sparrowlegs: -3

This isn't happen. This isn't happening! Must end game with positive score... I just need to stay alive and snipe Slappy...and grande has snipped me again from nowhere. Alright, I really wanna quit...but that would me make me like snuff. But if I end the game with a negative score, then I'm like Slim Shady! Must stay alive...go for the red armor...and I've fallen off the edge again! FUCK!

grande: 30
Slappy: 21
sparrowlegs: 1

I hate LAN-parties.

Restless Natives

grande said:
The natives are getting restless ... no updates in over a week? First you spoil us with updates, now we're all going through withdrawal. I guess you decided never to speak again of the LAN party? I haven't told anyone; your secret is safe with me. ;-)

OK, this is how it works. I'm only going to write when I have something to write about. This past week has two exceptions:

1. Some wonderful things have happen with respect to work. Unfortunately, it would be irresponsible for me to comment on them in a public blog. I think I can setup a private blog entry, but you would need to sign-up to be allow to read it.


2. The LAN-party...ummmm...my wounds are still fresh. I still can't write, talk, or think about it with out my eye twitching uncontrollably.

The Family Picnic

We went to my parents house for a family picnic this weekend. My parents house is a insanity-rich environment.

My sister, who is pregnant with her second child, likes to follow her two year old daughter around with a box of Clorox wipes. She sanitizes anything that her daughter might touch. The slide, shopping cart, lawn chairs, etc. Must...filter...thoughts...

sister: We are looking for suggestions for baby names. We haven't found any names that we like.
sherry (joking): How about Eggbert?
sister (not joking): No, we don't like that. It's too close to Bert. He's that G-A-Y muppet on Seaseme Street. They finally took him off. Thank GOD! I guess they realized how inappropriate it was having him on a children's show.

No one said anything after that. I guess because there wasn't a ten foot pole in the room. But there was a pink elephant! I think Katie Holmes wants to set up a car pool to Crazytown, maybe I should tell my sister.