Doom

I went to see Doom the other night with Sweet Tea and Deppen. We went into the movie with really low expectations. It exceeded our expectation by a narrow margin.

It had the look of Doom 3, which I thought was interesting. But that also meant that most of the action was in the shadows. I thought the monsters, when you could see them, were well done.

It moved slowly, with the real action starting in the last third of the movie. The BFG made a showing, but was only fired three times — twice on camera. For me the most disappointing part of the movie were the weapons. They mostly used a standard machine gun or handgun, and the BFG. Nary a Rocket Launcher, Railgun, Lightninggun, Plasmagun, or Grenade Launcher. The anemic gun selection meant that there were no interesting combos. I really wanted to see a monster tossed in the air with a Rocket Launcher and then sniped with a Railgun.

They used typical horror movie tactics, slowly building tension with music and weird camera angles. Then they shocked you with something benign: a rat, or a dog (what's a dog doing on Mars?). They falsely let the tension die only to really shock you with real monster. OMG! You got me again! You crazy horror movie director.

There was a 5 or 10 minute sequence that was filmed in the FPS style. That was fun to watch.

me: It was better than I thought it would be.
Sweet Tea: Yeah, I enjoyed it. Whadda ya say, Deppen?
Deppen: .....[Crickets].....
Sweet Tea: That's what I thought.
me: Hey, good talkin' to ya Deppen.

The best part was seeing the trailer for Underworld: Evolution. I'll be watching that movie with bottle of hand cream and roll of paper towels. Who's with me?

The BMW Testdrive

Both of my sons are into cars, so I offered each of them a trip to the dealership of their choice for a test drive. Of course, it had to be within reason — no Ferrari. I'm such a mean dad.

My youngest son is really into Chryslers (shudder). More specifically, he obsesses over PT Cruisers (shudder shudder). Therefore, we went to the Chrysler dealer to test drive a PT Cruiser (shudder shudder shudder). Yes, I really love him. The only blog-worthy detail was that the dealer had trouble finding one that would start. We waited half an hour before he found one that understood what to do when he turned the key in the ignition. This didn't change my sons taste in cars. God bless him. I conducted my testdrive on rural roads with the hope that no one would see me.

My oldest son is fan of BMWs, specially the M3. So, I did what any father would do; I selflessly put aside my wants and needs and took him to the BMW dealer for a test drive. He said he would be happy to ride in any 3 series, but would really like a ride in the M3. I promised I would do my best.

Kevin cheerfully greeted us at the doors of the BMW dealership. Within five minutes, we were seated in a '06 325. He drove first — "Just to give you feel for the vehicle." Whatever, Kev. I was impressed with the features, even though this was the cheapest car in their lineup. Pushbutton start. Cool. Key FOB ignition that charged every time it was in the ignition slot. Heated seats. Rain sensing wipers. Electronic stability control — he demonstrated how little the car pitched forward under hard braking. Run-flat tires, which meant that there wasn't a spare. No physical dip stick for the oil — employing an electronic sensor instead. BMW provides car pickup and delivery for servicing within 2 hours of the dealership.

He finally let me drive. The steering was precise. The power was OK. It handled wonderfully. It was so quiet that I had trouble gauging my speed. This caused me to over shoot a stop sign. Sorry Kev...you can unclench now.

We went back to home base and Kev went to fetch the M3. I said I was interested in the coupe version. Unfortunately they only had a '03. I guess that will do. My son nodded his approval. Kev pulled a beautiful jet black M3 around to where we stood. I don't care much for how a car looks, but Jesus (assuming)! Just after I caught my breath, I the heard the engine/exhaust. I was in love. Kev did the requisite preflight rundown. He gave me a sample of its acceleration and cornering abilities. He demonstrated an 85 MPH tire-squealer in a sweeping right-hander. Gulp.

My heart was pounding when it was my turn to drive. I was so nervous. I revved the engine to 5 or 6k RPM...just because. Kev gave a look. Shut up Kev. When I was ready, I pulled out and accelerated as fast I could. I was astonished and a little scared. I glanced back at my son and noted that he felt the same, with his head pressed back into the seat. I was glad I drove the 325 first — I knew the road this time. I couldn't stop grinning. I'd never driven a car this amazing. The traction control lets you have fun, you could break the tires loose if you wanted too. So I did. I got the back end to slide out under heavy acceleration in a tight 35 MPH turn. I've never done that on dry asphalt. God, I miss driving a rear wheel drive car. I've never felt so alive. Kev had white knuckles.

We pulled into the dealership and Kev tried to talk money. That didn't last long. I was soon driving home in my piece o' shit Honda Odyssey. I wanted one. Just $45k...OK, maybe not right now...

Shadow Of The Colossus

Sounds like my wedding night!

I received a Shadow Of The Colossus demo disc for the PS2 in the mail last week. I'm not sure why. It must be a perk of being an elite gamer.

I finally took the time to play it. It's a third-person platform game kind of like God of War. Oddly, the demo starts you off in the middle of huge field. It doesn't actually draw you in. The visuals and sounds are cool. Your special sword directs you to where you need to go. Letting my special sword guide me was very natural for me. You are guided to a cliff that you have to navigate by climbing and jumping. Once you reach the top you find yourself standing in the shadow of a huge creature. Hey! They should name the game, "Shadow of the Huge Creature," or something. Anyway, you need to kill this guy. I know this because he is not me, and he trying to step on me. The on-screen help tells you to climb this creature (I am not sure what to call him...) and stab him repeatedly with your sword. I tried to do this. I failed. The action was underwhelming and slow.

Forty five minutes later, I awoke from my game-induced slumber, ejected the game and threw it in the trash. There's 45 minutes I'll never get back. I'll just add that to the 120 minutes I wasted watching Serenity.

Colossus! The creature could be called a Colossus!

Corporate Blog Blocking

Things are getting worse for employees of big companies.

I guess it's only a matter of time.

A Hilarious Family Guy Clip

I find that I can't stop watching this clip from The Family Guy. I never thought Ipecac could be used as a recreational drug.

My family really likes it too.

If the interweb is giving you trouble, you can find it in the 7th episode from the 3rd season, called, "8 Simple Rules For Buying My Teenage Daughter." Maybe you can borrow the DVD from a friend or a neighbor.

A Flock Of Geeks

I started using Flock today. Flock was Charlie's find. Thanks Charlie.

I love the fact that the bookmarks are stored in del.icio.us. No more syncing my work and home bookmarks. I worry about the strain the Flock community is going to put on del.icio.us servers. Before Flock was announced, I noticed that the del.icio.us site sometimes had trouble keeping up with the load.

I tried the integrated blog stuff, but it was a difficult to configure with my blog. At one point, it pranked my Blogger account pretty hard, putting my blog was in a weird state. I mistakenly published a test post and couldn't delete it.

Flock is interesting so far, but rough around the edges.

Cabela's

On our way back from Pukefest '05, we stopped at the Cabela's store. We don't hunt, fish, camp, or even hike. Why did we stop? I'm not sure. "Oh, your kids will love it. They have the coolest exhibits" people told us.

There was green toilet paper in the bathrooms.

They have conference rooms. Why do they need conference rooms?

There were cute little novelty parking signs that read "elk hunter parking only -- violators will be shot" ...OK...

I saw a fishing reel that was about the size of toaster oven that was selling for $1200.00.

My daughter picked up an item that looked like an oversized metal coat hanger with notches near the shoulders.

daughter: Mom, what is this for? It's only $7. Can I buy it?
Sherry: Um...they hang dead deer on those.

My daughter quietly put the deer hanger back on the pile. Awkward.

There was a wonderful toy section. My favorites were the Hunter Dan and Hunter Ann action figures. The video games were interesting. They had a hunting game for the XBox/PC. In the game the player drives a pickup truck around until they see something they'd like to kill. The large animal is usually charging at the shooter. If the player misses the target and the animal hits the player, the game warden steps in and saves the player from certain death...only the animals get to die.

I saw a hottie with long blonde hair and tight Wrangler jeans. When she turned around I saw that she had a 5 inch buck knife attached to her waist in a black leather sleeve. WTF? That totally killed my chub. The Wrangler jeans should have tipped me off. I'll know better next time.

I had mix emotions about the exhibits. At first, I was taken back my their amazing beauty. The animals looked so life-like (ha ha). This feeling lasted about 10 seconds. The plaques that documented the animals referred to them as trophies. Nice. I looked up at the enormous trophy elephant and all I could think was "wow that big game hunter must have had really low self-esteem, and/or a really small penis."

A Dream Come True

My family gave me a greatest birthday gift ever---a gift certificate to go soaring in a sailplane. I took the wife and kids on a day trip to the Kutztown Airport. Ever since I was a kid, I've wanted to learn to fly a sailplane.

Grinning like an idiot, I handed my gift certificate to the lady at the front desk. She introduced me to Mike, the pilot. What do ya say Bill?

Mike took me and my family out to see the sailplane I'd be flying. The kids got a chance to sit in the cockpit and play with the controls. He was trying to explain the instruments to my daughter. I don't think he understood that she didn't give a shit. Mike, she's 8.

Within 5 minutes, Mike found the pilot for the tow plane, adjusted my seat so I could reach the foot peddles, and tightened my 4-point seat belt. Mike gave the signal to the pilot in the tow plane and we were off.

Almost as soon as we started moving, our plane was off the ground. The tow plane used the rest of the runway before it lifted off. Amazing.

We were towed upwind toward Hawk Mountain When we reached an altitude of 5000 feet, Mike let me pull the towline release lever. It got very quiet as the tow plane dropped off to the left and we pulled up and circled to the right.

After he gave me a brief flight lesson, I asked if we could do some aerobatic maneuvers...maybe a loop or something. Well, according to some crazy regulation, we were required to have parachutes in order to fly inverted. Boring. He suggested that we try some Lazy Eights. Yawn.

After Mike demostrated a Lazy Eight, we were just south of Hawk Mountain, which is just north of Pukesville. Mike calmly suggested that I open the air vent to get some fresh air:

Mike:Just stick your hand out there and direct some of the cool air toward your face.
me:Great. Thanks.
me (in head):I am Mike. I am Can't you see my goddamn hand sticking out of the vent? It's not working! I'm still in a cold fucking sweat!
Mike:Guess it's good that we didn't do a loop...
me:Yeah.
me (in head):Oh come on! How about I take that control stick and shove it up your ass! Could you do a loop then? Could you do a loop with a control stick up your ass, Mike? And I'm still not getting enough air here! Aren't there any other air vents!?

Mike handed my a barf bag. "Just in case." The barf bag worked much better than the air vent. Eggs, coffee, and toast. Beautiful. Mike suggested that we head back to the airport. Since I was feeling better after my best Mary-Kate Olsen at 5000 feet, I asked if we could keep flying.

So we did. I wanted to find a thermal. He found one.

Mike:Thermals can be pretty turbulent. This one isn't that bad.
me:...
me (in head):No shit. Is that why the whole plane is shaking? Asshole.
me:Can you show me how fast this thing can go?
me (in head):What the hell did I just say? Idiot!
Mike:Sure! I can take her up to about 70 knots.

Mike pointed the plane down at the earth and we plunged into a steep dive. I brought the partially filled barf bag closer to my lips. Mike circled around south of the runway, which is right over Violently Ill Town. Mike deployed the spoilers, making the plane shake even more. I began to puke uncontrollablly into my ever-heavier barf bag. It was hard to stay on target with the plane trembling. By the time we came to a stop, I had managed to splatter second-hand eggs, coffee, and toast on my shirt, sunglasses, neck, arms, and seatbelt. Perfect landing.

On the way home I chewed three pieces of Eclipse gum, but my wife still refused to kiss me.

apidoc.org

apidoc.org is a great site that aggregates API documentation. It has a register/login feature that doesn't work. Luckily, you don't need to register to use it. There is also an IntelliJ plugin.

Yes, you read that correctly. I'm using IntelliJ...pushed down by the man again. IntelliJ is pretty good. I've only been using it for about 2 months, so my opinions are probably immature.

pros:

• The code coloring and formatting are really customizable. It has a lot of font effects available.


• It has great Ant script integration. You can jump around in an Ant script as if it were Java code.


• It has nice JUnit integration. IntelliJ runs your JUnit TestCases and then summarizes the results. You can run all of the TestCases in a package, run just one TestCase, or run just one method in a TestCase.

cons:

• SLOW! I hate an IDE, well any application, that can't keep up with the user.


• Lots of plugins are available, but there are no plugins for additional file type support. ksh, perl, bash, and batch script are just text files to IntelliJ.


• The code navigation is OK. It's easy to jump forward in the source code, but there is no way to jump back. There has got to be a way to jump back. I just haven't found it yet.
  

  update 10.10.2005: I found it. "Go To" -> "Back".

  
  


• Five hundred dollars...and it only transports matter... SlickEdit still kicks IntelliJ's ass for $200 less.

We Dogs

You know it's hard out there for a pimp
When you're trying to get money for the rent.

A Proud Father

My daughter is going to be Napoleon Dynamite for Halloween. She has a "Vote for Pedro" t-shirt, snow boots, and Bill Gates glasses.

My youngest son is going to be Idaho for Halloween. "I'm Idaho!" He doesn't care if no one gets the joke. God I love that boy.

My oldest son bought himself a bag of chips while we were on a car trip. After about 10 minutes he said:

son: Hey Dad, do you want any chips?
me: Sure! I'll take some.
son: Well you should have asked earlier.
me: Well done, son. Well done.