One Love

A friend of my mine, who asked that he remain nameless...you're welcome. Sent me this great music video. I love cover bands.

While we are talking about asses: Another friend (if you haven't been following along, that's TWO friends) sent me this picture of Jesus. Sheep go to heaven. Goats go to hell.

LED Fun

I'm still the favorite parent. This past rainy Sunday I made "Throwies" with the kids. A Throwie is an LED light (is that redundant?) powered by two hearing aid batteries and held together with some electrical tape.

Of course, I had do a mini science lesson about electricity. They seemed to grasp the difference betwixt wiring batteries in parallel and in series. Good times.

The assembly was extremely tedious. I was so frustrated (read: screaming) that the kids felt the need to "give me some space." "You don't need us here watching you...just call us when you're finished," my daughter said, trying to put on a happy face and pretend she wasn't scared of me. After 20 minutes of intense concentration and several f-bombs, I was finished.

My oldest son was very pleased with the LED he chose (clear LED's seem to shine the brightest). So happy, in fact, that he promptly stuck it up his nose. His semi-cross-eyed gaze was a nice, unexpected addition.

Here's younger son desperately trying to spin his Throwie fast enough to create a full circle in the photo. 'C' -- nice job. Better luck next time.

And my daughter, obviously very unhappy with her LED color choice, did nothing special for her photo. Happy happy happy. Joy joy joy.

Shopvac Afterburner

I like using a charcoal grill. The food tastes better, plus it's a great excuse to play with fire.

I use a charcoal chimney starter. Thanks to Lurker for introducing this device to me. I think Sherry wants to thank you too...but she has trouble being nice to people.

"This environmentally safe chimney starter lights a charcoal grill quickly and easily without lighter fluid. Food tastes better and the charcoal lighter fluid odor doesn’t permeate your picnic--or the environment."

It's pretty simple to use. Fill the top part with charcoal and the bottom part with a sheet of newspaper. Light the newspaper and wait 20 minutes. 20 minutes. That simply doesn't cut it for the have-it-right-now generation.

Here's a method I use for lighting my charcoal in 2 minutes. 2 gloriously fun and surprisingly educational minutes.

Warning: This is pretty dangerous. Before you start, make sure your kids and pets are indoors (My oldest son was with me only because I needed someone to take pictures, and Sherry was too busy watching football...err...screaming at the TV.) Choose an area that is free of dry grass and/or leaves. Wear a hat (I wore a cotton baseball hat) and eye protection (normal glasses for me).

Light the newspaper just like before, but after the newspaper is finished burning, pick up the chimney and carry it to an open area...free of combustible items.

Turn your shopvac to 'blow.'

Hold your lit chimney as far away as possible. Tilt the top slightly away from your head.

Slowly bring the blowing end of the shopvac tube to the bottom of your chimney. It's important to do it slowly because a large amount of loose ash blows out initially. The first time I did this, I realized that my hair might ignite. It was quite a precarious situation. I was holding a chimney of hot coals in one hand, a shopvac hose in the other and little pieces of hot ash where landing on my head. This is what the bottom of the chimney looks like.

At full throttle, the charcoal begins to super-heat. It puts out a staggering amount of energy. It only takes 90-120 seconds of full after-burner to light all of the coals.

You'll see the sides of your chimney start to glow red. That's a good indication that it's time to stop. ...Or...you can keep going and see how hot it can really get. Eventually, if you aren't wearing gloves, which I wasn't, the heat will become unbearable.

Turn off the shopvac and let the flames die down. At this point you'll be kicking yourself for using up all your arm strength on the prior step. You really can't move around that much during this step, and dumping the coals in to the grill is out of the question. Dig deep and find the strength to hold the chimney for a few more seconds and enjoy the two foot flames.

Finally, dump your hot glowing coals into your grill. These coals run a little hotter than coals lit using the normal method for lighting, so you'll need to adjust your cooking time. Sherry, remember the last time I did this and the hamburgers caught on fire? God that funny. Good times...good times.

Unsupervised Halloween

I took the kids out for trick-or-treat last night.

The experience was typical. The community involvement covered the wide spectrum.

1. misanthrope -- no lights on; leave us alone



2. bucket -- a bucket of candy on the porch; this always works because kids will only take one piece of candy



3. heart beat -- real people handing out candy; slightly more involved than a bucket



4. normal -- lots of Halloween decorations and scary music; real people handing out the candy and actually attempting to interact with kids



5. Martha Stewart -- full-on Halloween party including: tent housing two picnic tables and chairs; picnic-type foods: hot-dogs and condiments, chips, and drinks (hot chocolate, juice boxes, water, and soda); music, decorations, and fancy lighting

There was one house that didn't really fit in. A few yoots set up shop in the their parent's garage. Strobe lights and industrial music set the mood. Just as the trick-or-treaters entered the garage, one of the teens would surprise them from behind with a real circular saw. It's unmistakable metallic whine was easy to hear over the blaring music. Yes, it had a blade. I guess they thought that the safety shield would be enough. One of the other yoots demonstrated his pyrotechnic prowess by creating a flamethrower using a lighter and a can of Static Guard.

Scary.

New Office Photos

OK, I've got some more photos of the new office. I know it's just an office building, but I'm into architecture.

There is a long greenhouse-like covered walkway that extends from the parking lot to the building. It has fantastic acoustics. I haven't found the resonating frequency yet.

This is the view from the entrance to our office space. That's Margaret on the left. She answers the phone.

Mark Rebuck has software that "sews" together multiple photos into one. This one is the combination of about 4 photos.

This is the atrium from same vantage point as the panoramic photo above. The plywood is there to protect the glass windows while they complete the construction.

At the opposite end of the office space, there is a glassed-in silo-like spiral staircase.

New Cell Phone

So my employer finally came through with a cell phone. A shiny new LG VX8300.

I can see myself getting a lot of use out of the integrated digital camera feature. In lieu of anyone buying me a real digital camera.

The phone has lots of other interesting features, including bluetooth. Unfortunately most of these features are neutered by Verizon Wireless. Thanks. I'm sure your technically retarded business decisions are making you boat loads of cash.

When a mobile phone has bluetooth it should mean that it becomes less of an information island. Verizon doesn't see it that way. They want you to use bluetooth to attach A-Hole-like accessories like the Jabra BT350, which Versatile was kind enough to provide for me. Now I have another device in my arsenal with which to annoy my wife. Whatdoya say babe? Pretty annoying? Babe? Wanna drive to Hogwarts?

If I want the cool photos I've been snapping, I'll have to email them to myself. Really? That doesn't seem right. Why can't I transfer them to my laptop via bluetooth. Verizon says 'no'.

I keep my contacts in my Yahoo address book. It would be nice if I could transfer them to my phone via bluetooth. Verizon says 'no'.

Luckily there are ways around these problems. With an open source tool called BitPim, I'm able to do all kinds of things with my phone. I'm pretty sure I haven't voided any warranties. Now I can transfer pictures, music, and contacts betwixt my phone and laptop. Cool.

I Hate People: part 3, The Trash Fairy Strikes Back

Back in the day I wrote about the trash fairies visiting my sidewalk.

2006.10.16, 9:55PM: Two guys wearing coats that were inappropriately large/warm for 50 degree weather were hanging out in front of my house. The suspects were making noise, smoking cigarettes, and oh, smashing a mountain bike.

Path #1: Call the police and describe to the dispatcher the scene unfolding in front of me as I peer through the curtains. By the time the police cruiser is deployed to the crime scene, the loiterers are long gone. The police officer and I share awkward glances as we stare at the lump of metal that used to be a bicycle.

Path #2: Finish watching the end of Heroes.

Both paths lead to: JC cleans up bike parts from the sidewalk.