ENT Doctor Part 2

I had to visit the ENT doctor again.

This visit was much less painful. No deep probing this time. Just a quick look at my nose again.

In the "I-shit-you-not" category:

doctor:	“You know, the problem isn't with your nose.”
He surface probed my nose with a very bright flashlight
me:	“OK, what's the problem?”
doctor:	“It's your tongue. It's unusually large. When you sleep, it flops back and obstructs your airway. If we just cut your tongue out, you wouldn't have a problem.”
me (in my head):	“OK. That's something most people can joke about...but not a surgeon.”
me:	“My wife would like that.”
The silent nurse gave me an awkward glance.
doctor:	“You know, I have this idea. I know it would work, I just don't have a way of making it happen. If you stick your tongue in front of your bottom teeth like this...”
He then demonstrated the tongue placement, until it appeared as though he was packing chewing tobacco between his lip and gum.
doctor:	“You thee? Ith you thtick it out there, it won't obthruct your airway.”
me:	“That...doesn't seem...realistic.”
doctor:	“This is my idea. You know how you can get a tiny hole pierced in the tip of your tongue? Kids these days are doing it all the time.”
me (in my head):	“Oh. Then it must be a good idea.”
doctor:	“I'd install a tiny hook below your front teeth. At night, you'd hitch your pierced tongue to the hook. Thith will keep your tongue outh of the way.”
me (in my head):	“...Just say something...that way you can get out of here faster...”
me:	“...Did you patent your idea?”
doctor:	“No. I don't have the time or the means.”
me (in my head):	“Yeah...you're spending too much time being crazy.”
me:	“Good luck with that.”