2006-04-24

The Little League Season from Hell

This is turning out to be a spectacular Little League season. Here is list of reasons in no particular order:

  1. We have a wonderful sponsor...but you know all about them.

  2. We have one experienced coach. There are two assistant coaches, me (the village idiot) and another guy.

  3. We have one experienced pitcher. This is a problem in Little League because there are all kinds of rules about how much a kid can pitch in one week. The token "stacked" team has eight experienced pitchers.

  4. So far there has been a lot of cheating. In the first two games, the stacked team used an illegal bat (a softball bat -- larger sweet spot and larger barrel) and two illegal pitchers (too old). They don't have to cheat against our team to win. They just have show up.

  5. We are by far the weakest team in the league. I'll be surprised if we win a single game.

  6. The father of one of our players was arrested for downloading child pornography. He's lookin' at 10 years of prison time. The neat part? He's out on bail right now and he likes to show up at the games. That kind of puts a damper our team's cheering section.

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4 comments:

  1. Anonymous4/24/2006 2:38 PM

    Plus don't forget how awesome it is in the stands where I cheer for "green" and am constantly reminded that "green" is not my son's name.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous4/24/2006 3:58 PM

    I like scream "White Power!"

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous4/24/2006 6:46 PM

    You might be the "idiot" but you sure as hell know how to work a pitching machine. Hey, maybe you can put that witches mask on the machine and tell the opposing team it's a new player from "out of town". Pitching problem solved. You're welcome.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous4/25/2006 1:21 AM

    Thanks man. You always have the best ideas.

    ReplyDelete

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